Let's Face It: Shopping While Pregnant Can Be Scary

The decisions are endless: What shape of pacifier? And can they have a paci? And do we really need glass baby bottles? And which pregnancy pillow will be big enough but not so big that it won’t leave a little room for my partner on the bed too? And will these pants only fit now or for a few months? The swirling questions can seem endless, and difficult to unpack and prioritize.

For pregnant parents without medical or child development backgrounds, it can be hard to figure out whom to trust and what to believe when you are shopping for baby products. You might see news headlines flashing warnings about specific recalls, but it can feel unclear if it means to avoid all similar products too. Like with any topic, knowing whom to trust with your new precious cargo can feel daunting.

“Parents often feel super-anxious about car seats, strollers, bath or swimming products, and anything related to sleep—bassinets, cribs, other spots where you may lay a baby down to snooze,” Murphy says. “Many parents are also now focused on items being nontoxic, especially anything that might go in a baby’s mouth or touch their skin, like fabrics or body products. All of these things are totally understandable—you want your baby to be safe in the car, on the go, around water, and while snoozing.” 

Sarah Cook is a mom and president of Nanny’s and Granny’s, a national childcare placement agency in Nevada.

“For parents who aren’t constantly tuned into the news cycle, the key is to rely on reputable, evidence-based sources,” says Cook. She trusts organizations like the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Consumer Product Safety Commission. “[They] offer updated, research-backed information. It’s also beneficial to consult with healthcare providers who can offer tailored advice based on the latest safety guidelines.” 

Especially if you are secondhand shopping, give the potential product a quick Google search to ensure it hasn’t been recalled since it was first produced. I ran into this when a friend insisted early on that a Fisher-Price Rock ’N Play was a must have for her reflux baby. It was recalled in April 2019 and is responsible for approximately 100 deaths. Facebook Marketplace shoppers, take note.

“Recalls on items is a huge barrier,” says Tiara Flynn, founder and owner of Phenomenal Mama, a full-spectrum doula practice, and mother of two. “Especially because the companies are horrible at communicating the issue around the recall.” She says she is frustrated that parents only see that there is a recall but that brands don’t “fully explain” the severity or details of the concern. “I can’t tell you how many times I’d see a recall announcement on a baby product and I’d run to my registry to make sure it wasn’t on my list.”

It’s time to clean up your social media accounts ahead of shopping during pregnancy. For me, I got rid of any influencers who I felt were creating more fear or anxiety, or who seemed to be serving as ambassadors for brands without any real intention. Instead, I followed more parenting influencers with medical credentials, and those who particularly analyzed baby products for safety and helpfulness, such as Jamie Grayson, who has a Child Passenger Safety Technician certification (think car seats).

“Sign up for the email lists of manufacturers of the car seat, stroller, crib, etc., that you’re using for your baby, because brands will also share about recalls on their lists, as they are required to do.” She also recommends Amazon’s page that lists all recalls or safety issues for products you’ve bought with your Amazon account. 

“Especially with the influence of social media. If everyone is raving about a product online, you might be influenced to purchase right away and you never actually researched the product,” Flynn says.

Just because the hottest new product has the cutest floral pattern that will make your nursery look Insta-perfect, or because it seems to promise to lull your baby to sleep faster doesn’t mean much. “My advice is to focus on simplicity and necessity, rather than getting swayed by trends,” Cook says.

Let’s talk details. Do you need a swaying bassinet that makes all kinds of white noise and sends you alerts to your phone? Maybe. It’s likely you don’t know yet. So you could opt for a simple crib, and if your child is exceptionally fussy, like two of my five, then you could level up to a pricier investment instead of buying it during pregnancy. There’s a sense you have to have everything ready ahead of the birth, but parenting is nothing if not adapting and pivoting.

So what do you really need to bring the baby home? In my experience, this is the pared-down must-have list:
• A reliable car seat.
• A few cozy sleepers and onesies, and a swaddle blanket or sleep bag (but not weighted blankets or sleep sacks)
• A place to change diapers (disposable or cloth).
• A place to put the baby while you do a few dishes, such as a play yard.
• Feeding basics: bottles, formula and/or a breast pump (traditional or wearable), and possibly pacifiers. Nursing parents might want a breastfeeding pillow.
• Personal care items: Baby soap, diapers, and wipes. You might want a baby bathtub.
• A few medical must-haves: a first-aid kit and a thermometer, especially. Don’t forget you can have the ball-style nose sucker at most hospitals. 
• A crib with extra bedding.

When you pare it down, really the rest is extra. “Don’t overwhelm yourselves,” Flynn says. “My strategy was to compare at least three brands of everything. That way I wasn’t too overwhelmed with the options available. But I did enough due diligence to feel comfortable in my choices.”

Any stress-relieving measure you can take in pregnancy is worth it. Here are a few tips Murphy gives her clients:
• Trust yourself, not just outside sources.
• Set a deadline by which you want to buy all the big baby stuff, such as the last week of your second trimester.
• Have a set endpoint to the gear questions to “help quell anxiety and stop the endless cycle of researching.”

When in doubt, opt for simplicity. Technically, there’s no reason your unborn baby needs a travel bassinet, a smart bassinet, and a crib (though I will forever love my lifesaving Snoo, even with new white noise guidance, and any great bedside co-sleeper). But if you have a fussy baby and find out you need more support via products, you can always buy something later, not just during pregnancy. The baby will still show up if the nursery and all the prescribed shopping aren’t complete.

“It’s natural to feel anxious about making the ‘right’ choices,” Cook says. Prioritize products with a strong safety record and consult with your pediatrician. Remember, the love and care you provide are the most crucial elements for your child’s well-being.”

Finally, let yourself be a little bit excited about baby shopping. Choose the baby blanket you think is beautiful. Put your research and energy into a wall hanging for the nursery that has a powerful quote or intention for your baby’s life. Buy the coziest maternity sweater, or some slippers, and prioritize yourself in the midst of all the focus on the baby. That will come soon enough.